Now Arriving: Land of Smiles
I write today from Karon, Phuket, where it is a surprisingly cool 90 degrees. And I promise, it is every bit as beautiful as you imagine it to be. Of course, all I can do is tell you it's beautiful because so far all I've done is drive from the airport, check in at my guest house, and stock up on popsicles and water. I have yet to explore, or take any pictures. I will...after a nap. I am tired from travel. I shouldn't be tired, even after more than 30 hours in transit, because, as I like to tell my friends, I'm a champion airplane (or anywhere!) sleeper, and this trip I even outdid myself. On the 13.5 hour leg from Vancouver, BC to Hong Kong, I was awake just long enough for a meal of marginal vegetarian airline food before passing out. I came to more than 9 hours later somewhere over Japan. After an almost tasty airline breakfast, and amidst a chorus of screaming babies, I managed to fall asleep again for the last hour and a half of the flight.
Despite sleeping away most of the flight, I was awake long enough to walk away with a lesson I'd like to pass along to anyone out there who is considering spawning (or already has): if you can't control your children on an airplane, it is your responsibility, nay, your DUTY, to sedate and crate them like the over-excited Weimaraner puppy that you shipped with baggage because it's liable to pee on your shoes. Whew! I feel better now that that's out in the open.
Also, I have a question for all you frequent fliers out there: whats up with airline bathroom usage? I mean really. I waited in line for over 20 minutes to use the loo, and had some time to do the math; on average people spent almost 4.5 minutes in there, regardless of gender. And, so as not to skew the results, that's not including the few oldsters that just took up residence, or parents with toddlers. 4.5 minutes? Seriously? Is there a portal to Narnia through the paper-towel dispenser that I don't know about? C'mon people, tell a sister the secret. I'd like to meet a talking beaver too! Ok, enough ranting. I'm off to take that nap now, in this very inviting looking bed:
There will be a beach visit, my first Thai meal, and possibly a new destination restaurant for the mosquitoes of Thailand after the break. Please stay tuned.
Despite sleeping away most of the flight, I was awake long enough to walk away with a lesson I'd like to pass along to anyone out there who is considering spawning (or already has): if you can't control your children on an airplane, it is your responsibility, nay, your DUTY, to sedate and crate them like the over-excited Weimaraner puppy that you shipped with baggage because it's liable to pee on your shoes. Whew! I feel better now that that's out in the open.
Also, I have a question for all you frequent fliers out there: whats up with airline bathroom usage? I mean really. I waited in line for over 20 minutes to use the loo, and had some time to do the math; on average people spent almost 4.5 minutes in there, regardless of gender. And, so as not to skew the results, that's not including the few oldsters that just took up residence, or parents with toddlers. 4.5 minutes? Seriously? Is there a portal to Narnia through the paper-towel dispenser that I don't know about? C'mon people, tell a sister the secret. I'd like to meet a talking beaver too! Ok, enough ranting. I'm off to take that nap now, in this very inviting looking bed:
There will be a beach visit, my first Thai meal, and possibly a new destination restaurant for the mosquitoes of Thailand after the break. Please stay tuned.
I eel I should clarify this post. When I say crate your kids, I don't mean your crying infant who cant understand why its head feels like its imploding. I mean your 4 year old that you let run up and down the aisles and kick people. Or better yet, carry up and down the aisle so he can kick people in the head.
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